


Drowning

by icannotevenhhh



Category: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs
Genre: Angst, Coping Mechanisms, Heavy Themes, Mental Illness, Metaphorical violence, No Dialogue, Poetry, Self-Destructive Tendencies, Self-Loathing, Unresolved Angst, Untreated Mental Illness, Writing, dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icannotevenhhh/pseuds/icannotevenhhh
Summary: Enoch has a secret.A secret in which he lets out all of the feelings that he can't bear to let people see.





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> Major trigger warning for untreated mental illness, metaphorical violence, and self-hate/self-destructive tendencies. Please, do not read if you find any of these topics upsetting or disturbing. Thank you.

Enoch had a secret.

His secret was small and worn, hidden under his mattress and bound with two dirty rubber bands. It was old, the clasp broken, torn and wrinkled from age and overuse. Even so, it brought him comfort, though he knew it was dangerous to keep something so material so close to him.

Enoch's secret was a notebook.

Bound with leather that had gone soft, Enoch poured all of his two souls into this little book, filling it with things that no one would expect him to write. He knew he wasn't the best at spelling or wording or taming the thoughts in his head, but putting them down in ink is what kept him sane some days. 

He wrote when his head felt like it was waterlogged, his hands heavy and shaking as he flipped to an empty page and touched pen tip to paper. 

_I feel as if I'm drowning_

_Spinning in a whirlpool of my own greed and hatred,_

_I gasp for air and call for help_

_But they're all on the shore_

_And they can't_

_See_

_Me._

He wrote when his body felt like nothing but an empty, broken shell of what he used to be, a black hole for anything other than the nothingness that was him. 

_My heart is heavy, though I can't feel it beating_

_I'm trapped, locked in this body and I can't find the key_

_My heart is dark_

_The darkness pours up my throat and out of my mouth, sharp and thick and full of malice_

_It hurts them_

_It is only a matter of time before I am nothing more than a nail in my own coffin._

He wrote when his mind was on fire, blurring his vision red and burning his hands, his body filled with a cracking and roaring rage which he didn't know how to control. 

_It's hot_

_It's hot and the smoke chokes me_

_My body is burning and I kick and scream and shout without thinking_

_Only do I stop when I can hear tears_

_I don't want to hurt anyone anymore_

Enoch had a secret.

Feelings that overflowed from his heart and drowned him, that left him dazed and confused and gasping for air.

The only relief was small and worn, hidden under his mattress and bound with two dirty rubber bands.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading. Please note that I am not trying to demonize anyone with a mental illness, nor am I saying that coping mechanisms are a replacement for professional help and medication. Thank you to Jenna for proofreading this for me.


End file.
